Abuse can occur to anyone of any age, gender, religious beliefs, ethnic background, and economic levels. It can take the form of physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, financial, and digital abuse. It can also show up as stalking.
Abusers use fear, guilt, shame and intimidation to keep you under their power. You deserve to be valued, respected and safe. Remember there is always help available. By learning about the types of abuse, knowing the warning signs, and learning what you can do to stop and prevent abuse, you can make a huge difference in your or someone else’s life.
Abuse is the improper use or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. To use or treat so as to injure or damage. (Noun and verb)
Types of Abuse
Physical Abuse
Any Intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body
- Scratching
- Punching
- biting
- strangling
- kicking
- throwing objects at you
- pulling your hair
- pushing
- using any weapon towards you
- smacking you
- grabbing you by force to prevent you from leaving or to make you go somewhere
Sexual Abuse
Any action that pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually they don’t want to do. When someone doesn’t resist an unwanted sexual advance, it doesn’t mean that they consented. Sometimes physically resisting can put a victim at a bigger risk for further physical or sexual abuse.
- Unwanted kissing or touching
- unwanted rough or vilent sexual activity
- rape or attempted rape
- refusing to use condoms
- restricting someone’s access to birth control
- keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted diseases
- sexual contact with someone sho is very drunk, drugged, unconscious, or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed yes, or no
- threating someone into unwanted sexual activity
- pressuring or forcing
- sexual insults
Emotional/Verbal Abuse
A relationship can be unhealthy or abusive even without physical violence. How to recognize emotional abuse (link) It may not leave bruises but it leaves pain and emotional scarring. Sometimes the abuse is so bad that you start to believe what your abuser says. You may start to blame yourself for your abusers behavior.
- threats
- insults
- constant “checking-in”
- excessive texting
- humiliation
- intimidation
- isolation
- stalking
- Calling you names
- putting you down
- yelling and screaming
- embarrassing you intentionally in public
- preventing you from seeing or talking to friends and family
- telling you what to do and wear
- damaging your property when they’re angry
- using virtual communities to control intimidate or humiliate you
- blaming your actions for their abusive behavior
- accusing you of cheating
- being jealous of your relationships
- stalking you
- threating to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them
- using gas lighting(link) techniques to confuse or manipulate you
- making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity
- threatening to expose your secrets
- starting rumors about you
- threating to have your children taken away from you
Financial Abuse
It can be very subtle, but it is when the abuser tries to control, or have power over you, using money.
- giving you an allowance and closely watching you
- placing your paycheck into their account and not giving you access
- forbidding you to work
- keeping you from seeing shared bank accounts or records
- getting you fired
- hiding or stealing from you
- using your social security number to obtain bad credit loans
- refusing to give you money, food, rent, medicine, clothing
- using their money to hold power over you
Digital Abuse
The use of technologies such as texting and social networking to bully harass, stalk or intimidate a person,
- tells you who to be friends with on social media
- sends you negative, insulting or even threating messages online
- puts you down on social media
- sends you unwanted explicit pics and or demands you send some in return
- steals your passwords
- constantly texts you and makes you feel like you cant be separated from your phone for fear that you will be punished
- looks through your phone constantly
Stalking
Repeatedly watches, follows or harasses you, making you feel afraid or unsafe, it can be someone you know or a stranger. You may feel stressed, vulnerable or anxious, trouble sleeping, concentrating, you could feel you are no longer in control of your life, these reactions are completely normal.
- show up at your home or work unannounced or uninvited,
- wait at places you hang out,
- leave unwanted gifts,
- call and hang up constantly,
- damage your home, car or other property,
- use social media to track you
You may experience one or more of these types of abuse at one time from one partner, or from a co-worker. Abuse can be present in any part of your life. If you fear you may be going through any of these types of abuse talk to someone you trust, create a safety plan, remember it is not your fault, don’t accept or make excuses for the abuser, know the warning signs, because unhealthy or abusive situations usually get worse.